Two things made me laugh out loud today — great gusts of guffaws enough to wake the trufflehound from her slumbers. The first was a perfectly pitched piece of satire in the Southland Times, the second a reinvention of the ocean atmosphere interface by astrological long range weather forecaster Ken Ring. Both are worth your time, but do not drink hot fluids while reading…
Here’s the Southland Times, asking for proof of Antarctica’s existence:
To point to Antarctica’s presence on maps is a fatuous nonsense. When was the last time a scientist came out and acknowledged that Antarctica didn’t feature in the early maps used by some of the world’s most intrepid and admired explorers? Has anyone even asked who first added it, and for what reasons? Certainly not the uncritical mainstream news media. What proof do we have, beyond anecdotal reports from those who claim to have been there – a perfect way for any ne’er-do-well who needs to cover his tracks to disappear from scrutiny for long stretches at a time?
The breathtaking vanity of those who believe in anthropomorphic global warming must also be confronted and rejected. Not necessarily in that order. If history has taught us anything – and the jury is still out on that – it’s that mankind’s assumption that we could materially influence the glorious majesty of the natural world speaks of nothing other than our failure to accept our own insignificance. An unspeakable vanity.
Enough of those vanities, I say. A bonfire of them! Let’s move on to Ken Ring, who — and this will come as no surprise — is wrong about everything, again. Don’t waves cause winds, he asks, riffing on cause and consequence after an Archimedes moment in his bath:
But the only thing that can heat the ocean surface is the sun and the only thing that can drive ocean currents is the moon.
It had to be the moon, but then it might also be so much more (seriously, put that drink down, swallow before reading):
Deep ocean currents are a fact but science does not link them to winds. Seismic activity generates ocean currents, and earthquakes are waves through solid rock. It is not likely that ocean currents go downwards to generate earthquakes, because some shakes originate up to 400kms below the seafloor. It is more likely that the wave regimes that earthquakes are part of, transmit through rock to vibrate the ocean floor enough to generate the ocean currents and on into the air via oscillating waves to generate unstable airflows. The coincidental occurrence of larger earthquakes around full moons and perigees, together with stronger currents and kingtides, and as well tropical cyclones that form around these times, attest to this connection, and point to the moon and larger gravitational forces responsible for all three.
By the good Lord Monckton, Ringworld is surely a very strange place…